I attended a purity conference a couple of months ago, and something about it struck me wrong and after thought and what other people have said, I figured out what struck me wrong…
Oh, and by-the-by, if you are easily offended, you don’t need to read any farther… my intent is not to offend, but I’m sure some of what I’m going to say, might.
The attitude at the conference and even a lot of Christian Home Schoolers – of which, I am one- is ‘If God didn’t want me married, He wouldn’t have given me the desire (to get married).’ And to tell you the truth, Hon, that’s foolishness; I realize that sounds harsh, and it kind of is, but by having the attitude ‘if God didn’t want me married, He wouldn’t have given me the desire’, you are making demands of God. You are saying “Well, you made me this way, why haven’t you given me what I want!” That is not good mind-set to have.
I believe that God has hardwired the desire to be married in to most, if not all, of us. We have a need for relationships, we are social creatures, we were meant to be around other people; it’s okay to want that relationship, there comes a point in your life, where the relationships that you have with your parents, your siblings, and even just friends are not as satisfying as they once were. Again, that is okay, but you cannot go making demands of God, it doesn’t work out well.
I think that one of the reasons God gave us the ‘Single Time’ is so that we can learn that He is sufficient; He will supply all of your needs, physical, spiritual, and whatever else you need. (oh, and I do not think that I have this down pat, I’m not trying to take a better-than- you stance on this, God is constantly smackin’ me upside the head going ‘you need to listen!’)
We were created to bring glory to God, and being single, we are in a great position to do just that. We have minimal responsibilities, and minimal expenses, and so… on the off –or maybe not so off- chance that we get called to the lower corner of Zimbabwe, it’s much easier to up and move to Southern Zimbabwe if you are single.
What I’m trying say, is don’t put your life on hold for some guy that is not even here! You make preparations for the storm, but you don’t get in the cellar till you hear the tornado sirens. (Can you tell I live in the Midwest?) By all means pray for your possible future husband, keep your self pure, learn how to be a good wife… but again don’t sit in the ‘castle’ and wait. Half the time, Prince Charming has to do some grunt work to find the Princess. Now don’t go crazy, don’t make the Prince rescue you, don’t purposely grieve your Father in heaven, and don’t grieve your parents, none of those things are good to do.
Maybe God doesn’t have a husband for you or me, it can be alright, God does have something better for us. It certainly won’t be easy, but nothing this side of eternity is. I can tell you this if don’t expect something and get it, it is so much better to be surprised than to expect something and to be heartbroken when it doesn’t happen. Trust me I know what it feels like. Marriage isn’t the end all, who knows… maybe being single is just the beginning!
Thank you for your patience, and reading through my rambling and ranting.
TTFN,
Bwasb
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3 comments:
You know, dear one, you're right. I spent so much time listening to idiots in my ute group (I misspelled on purpose cause it's more accurate that way) whine about how much they wanted to be married and it made them do stupid things with other people. You're perfectly right to use the time you have now to focus more on God and to learn who you, yourself, are. Speaking as a sort-of-recently-married person, you just don't have that luxury when you're married. It's something I never appreciated (and indeed, didn't know *to* appreciate) when I was on my own, and I'm so glad to see that you already have that wisdom. I don't know how you feel about hubanding-up (as they say in Russian), but Ido know that if you do marry, your marriage will be better for you having had some time just as yourself, not as someone's daughter or big sister or girlfriend. You yourself are a whole person and you don't need a husband to be 'complete'. Those who say otherwise sadly misunderstand the role of the wife in marraige and the role of a woman, married or not, in society, placing the ability to have boy-girl-boy-girl seating at parties above the demands placed on the hearts of those who choose to serve God with hearts unbound by matrimonal chains, however productive and pleasant those chains may be.
Wow, talk about your run-on-sentences. Well, now that I've convinced everyone who reads your blog that your eldest sister is an anti-marraige freak who is a bad influence on their denim-jumper-wearing-offspring, I'll get off my soapbox *steps down (needlessly, since she's already over 6 feet up)* and offer to apologize or argue with any whom I've offended.
Take care, girly-q.
-barefootscribe
Your words are very wise young grasshopper (your mother will know). Being a single female adult (with a sharp mind) can be a powerful and productive position. One has more time,energy and flexibility to put into life's mission, where ever it leads. I have always believed the Divine plan calls each of us in the proper direction and that there is no "stock" path for all to follow. Paying attention to your own calling, not following along cause everyone else is doing it, is your right and responsibility. Well that is my 30 cents worth (inflation) hope I didn't offend anyone either. Cheap wisdom from one who has wasted much of life, but not giving up just yet.
Aunt D -
Realize that I didn't say this at the time, but it was awesome to meet you again when you came down to visit Mom. I know she was really glad to see you so were we (well, maybe not Blondiekins, but then she's 4.) I hope we don't ever wierd you out on the blogs, and I just wated to tell you that it means a lot to me to have some kind of an extended family out there.
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